If every life is a river, then it’s little wonder that we do not even notice the changes that occur until we are far out in the darkest sea. One day you look around and nothing is familiar, not even your own face. -- Alice Hoffman, Incantation
we left the previous apartment by the end of October due to unforeseen circumstances. before the move, i woke every morning struggling & with my ongoing effort at the time to secure a job, it wasn't easy -- to think that i still don't have a job & that i'm losing the place i've called home for the past 3 years. it was tough & staying positive was all i could do though at times, i got more depressed than i should. Ken & i found a temporary solution, a living arrangement for at least a month or two. i left with a heavy heart.
November approaches. i was surprised by an unexpected job opportunity that i couldn't let go - went to the interview, did my very best & after 4 stages of interviews in a span of 2 weeks, i signed the contract. it is the dream job that i've been waiting for, the big break that i desperately needed after years of trying to find my way 'out-of-the-box'. i was so happy i cried happy tears before i went to sleep that night. after 4 jobless months, numerous interviews & finally finding one job that i'd really love, i felt like i had a purpose again. independence to me, is one of the very few things that matter.
on my birthday i sat in my commute off-work with mixed feelings. i've got a new job & everything's finally back on track again but i felt a little out-of-place, still. perhaps it's the notion of growing up. nothing fancy this year, 'cause i have all the love i could hope for & for that, i am happy. there i was with all the troubles i could never possibly hope for -- yet every little thing matures the heck out of me & for that, i am grateful.
that night before the train stopped at my station, i find myself wishing that whatever comes my way next, i'll always have a side of me that will never grow up -- to always embrace it all with the eyes of a little child. curious with a smile. it was a birthday i'll always remember.
as days passes i find myself counting days til we find another place that we can call home again. a place where we belong. we've gone apartment hunting for the past week or so, hopefully we'll seal a deal by the end of next week -- off to a new place by December 1st. fingers-crossed! it's amazing how much have changed in just a matter of months, weeks even.